Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
