Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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