If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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