shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My dick has a subreddit
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
