when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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