She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize