time to smoke my breakfast
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize