with your own penis?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
