Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
