So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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