So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
