Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
