How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
