They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize