First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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