Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
