I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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