accomplished twins. life is a go
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Enjoy the penises
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
