she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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