exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
