she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
