I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
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