even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
