i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
