we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize