come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
love makes seman taste better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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