the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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