Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
