Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
