Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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