so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
