You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
