dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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