Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
