You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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