And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
