Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
