I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
