Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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