Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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