Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
