Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
