ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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