You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
