I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
