well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
