I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
