only if we run a train.
done.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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