Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
