Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
