just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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