Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
