I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
