Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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