is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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