Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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