My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
