Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
