Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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