everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
