it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
