Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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