I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
