I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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