i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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