This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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