A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
