When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
