Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
