im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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