toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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